Sunday, February 7, 2010


What a day!!!!!Whew!!!! Glad this one is almost over. This all started late last night after I published yesterday's blog. We got a call from the assisted living facility where father-in-law resides telling us he had fallen and couldn't move his legs and he had just left in an ambulance headed for the hospital. Hubbie and his brother went to the emergency room to check it out.
After a battery of test the doctor on call decided their was nothing wrong with him except an old back injury and mild dehydration,so they would not admit him,he gave him some pain pills and sent him back to the facility,even though he was screaming in pain with each move!
Hubbie got home at 1:30 AM ,needless to say neither of us got much sleep. And a ringing telephone in the very early morning ours cut even what little we could have got short.It was the facility calling ,saying we needed to come and stay with him,as they were trying to push him in a wheelchair and he was refusing to hold his feet up (the wheelchair they have does not have feet platforms!). Hubbie was beside himself and didn't know what to say so he mumbled something about coming out later and hung up. Within 15 minutes the phone rang again,this time I answered as he asked me to take over, now they wanted to send him back to the hospital because they thought he had a TIA ,which he has a history of having and the hospitals want admit him from that either,already been there,done that!!! When I refused permission to send him to the hospital again she said okay and hung up.
We went to church,had a nice service,came home and were having lunch when the phone calls started again, demanding that someone come and sit with him 24/7,even though we are paying them $1800 per month to take care of him. I made some phone calls and tentatively lined up some thing for tomorrow morning,it's hard to do any business on Sunday. After several heated exchanges between nurses,directors and me I thought we had reached a solution to have them check on him hourly and we would pay extra until tomorrow. But within 30 minutes after coming to this solution with the director in charge( at least he thought he was in charge) another call,this time informing me that they had gotten hold of one of his doctors and she was going to have him admitted to the hospital. They were not going to baby sit him and had already called an ambulance,lyed to them saying he had fallen again to make it appear to be an emergency situation. They are lazy and do not do their jobs,and after talking to several other people tonight I'm not the only one who thinks this! If you live in the Western North Carolina Mountains and are looking for a facility for your loved one please contact me before you decide!!!
Being admitted to the hospital is the best case scenario right now so we can buy some time to locate a new place for him. Although they do not know what is wrong with him at this time. The doctors assistant called and had to laugh tonight,she said in their geriatrics practice she said she is used to dementia in her patience,but she said when she asked him what was wrong ,he told her he had leprosy!!!!! He only knew his birthday and nothing else so something is definitely wrong as he is in renal failure also. Perhaps due to kidney or bladder infection. I'll know more when the doctor calls tomorrow. At least for now he is under pain medication,happily watching the superbowl, but when she asked him who was winning ,he said "AHHH their just drinking cokes!!" Sometimes when God steps in He works in strange ways, creating delirium in our minds is a good way to protect us from the pain our bodies are in. And when you feel like you've reached a dead ended impasse such as I felt today when no options were acceptable to both parties,He always has options. God is just great like that! I can handle high pitched tones in voices and ultimatums and can give as good as I get so it is better if I deal with all this than hubbie or his brother as they are both mild mannered
and those nurses knew which buttons to push with them to get whatever they wanted out of them. They were surely surprised today when it wound up being another female they had to deal with not to mention one that has no buttons to push!!!! Although I am very thankful things turned out just as they did,it still is a shame what length people will go to not to do their jobs especially dealing with these older adults in these facilities. I know you never say never but for father-in-law to go back there will be a very,very,very last resort.
Okay that's enough venting for tonight,I think I can sleep now,maybe!
I am humbly grateful tonight,and asking forgiveness if I did or said anything unworthy (I was careful). May this be resolved in His way to His glory. Good Night and God Bless.


Anonymous said...

I am so sorry. This all sounds so familiar to me from my experiences with grandpa, daddy and mama. I will pray for your FIL and for you all as you decide where he can receive the best care possible.

"Just Me - NC Beth" said...

Bless your heart!! I am so sorry you are all having to go through such terrible situations!! I actually took my mother out of the nursing home Christmas because I felt she needed more care than they were providing....they could have done more if we had placed her in the nursing care side, but we did not have the money to do that. But really, I was afraid mother was going to lose her mind there and die from fear...that was the main reason I took her out! But even having mother here at my home, it is very trying (as you read on my post). But still, I would not want it any other way!

Praying that God will intervene and you will either find another facility you can place him in (not assisted living) that will give him good quality care, or the place he is in will be more compassionate and meet his needs.



Betsy from Tennessee said...

Oh --it's HELL to get OLD... I hope I die before I put my family in a bad situation. My mother didn't want any of us kids to have to take care of her, so she went to an assisted living--which has a skilled nursing facility with it. Yes--she paid the big bucks (but it wasn't much more than what you are paying)...

Once she couldn't take care of herself, she went to the nursing area---and they kept her until she died. She did go to the hospital several a few times --but the facility really did a good job with her OVERALL...

I do not understand how you all could have been paying so much --and still get almost no care. Sounds AWFUL... Maybe a Nursing facility will be better than as assisted living for him now--since he does need alot of care.

Whatever happens--it is still HARD, and I am very sorry for what you all are going through. I do NOT want to live like that...


Claudia said...

This is not the first time I hear about stuff like this. Unfortunately it is this way in a lot of assisted living facilities.

I hope by now (tues) things are better.

A lot of times they get confused, their medicine gets messed up and that does "a number" of things to them.

I don't fear death ... I fear loosing my independence as I get old but if I were able to choose I'd choose dying of a massive something so I don't have to stay and suffer nor make my family go through any of this struggles.